The countdown…tick tick tick on the clock. Seven more days and I’ll walk out into the open arena of addiction. Although the beast quietly lurks in the shadows of my hospital room and is just as dangerous as ever; he is patient. I know his tricky thoughts and we both know he can inflict much more pain if he first lets me out of the safety in this building. If he lets me out to roam so he has more variables to play with just for the mere entertainment. In the arena of life, my addiction can really roll up his sleeves, cocky as ever. And he has earned the right to be cocky. He often wins. We cannot kill him and yet he’s taking down 90,000 souls at least each year. 90,000 dead. It is becoming evident that he’s getting creative in all the ways that he can win. Right now, I’m in a hospital bed for almost two months fighting a deadly infectious disease. The beast sits by me in my room, right by my side always… I know what he’s thinking. ‘Well, Sam.. props on winning this round. You made it here just in time before a clot in your blood steam gave you a brain aneurism, or before your heart valve gave out and you had to undergo open-heart surgery. You made it out without any organs failing or losing any function in your brain. But you did not win. Do not forget the only one who is ever going to walk out of this cage with a knockout, is me.”
Unfortunately, he is often right. I can’t kill addiction (which is demonic work in my opinion) It’s painful because of the horror he causes and no way to end it. It’s evident we all need to gang up and stand together. He can take us down individually with a twitch when we decide to fight alone. However, when we ask for help from fellow comrades, good family and friends, and God, we are never alone. Unity is powerful. The thing we do have is numbers. Still, 95% of us don’t ever get sober because of refusing help.
We know what it’s like so we can have the empathy to pick up falling warriors before it’s too late. We would be a force and this beast would be threatened. He counts on us to tear each other apart and to stay weak. Maybe he can’t be killed, but together we could keep him at bay and save all these beautiful souls that are more than just drug addicts and alcoholics. We will lose warriors, but together we could neutralize this malignant, venomous, varmint. We could stand a chance, especially if the world became educated in the disease of addiction, instead of stigmatization never ceasing. Even a small percentage of decreased overdoses and deaths related to addiction would cause a sensational wave of hope and strength. One death alone horrifically inflicts pain on at least five of their closest friends and family. All the family and friends of those dying are suffering on an entirely different level than those with addiction themselves. The family and friends must watch on the sidelines with no sure way to help them, for they must do it themselves and that is torture. Addiction brings in so many levels of suffering and it’s ugly.
This soul sucker has it coming, and we should give it to him. I know I’m ready to taste his blood for a change. He has taken so much of my blood, sweat, and tears. He’s everywhere and not just causing overdoses but violence and utter desperation. We have all suffered brutal unimaginable pain, and we can choose to be victims or rise and be stronger because of it. All of his massive hits causing bruises and pain will end up being the weapon used against him as a counter punch as we become resilient and blood thirsty for our recovery. We are all developing character in the tears we shed in the darkness and we know just how debilitating loneliness has been in our lives. We are weakest when we are alone and extremely vulnerable. There is no need for that, not anymore, because not one of us is alone. In fact, the only one who is utterly alone… is the beast!
Comments