I know you are lonely. I am too. I feel you. We probably walk by each other during the day and smile. But, inside we are at the very least solemn. Your loneliness might be because of the loss of a “someone” or from the memories of THE “somebody”. Those movies in your head are playing on a loop.
For me, it’s 10 PM. For me, the haunting begins. It’s my battlefield. I cannot seem to find a place where my history doesn’t chase me. I have not found a repellent for a broken heart. I do not know at what point I finally heal. Unfortunately, my advice for healing is likely not complete. However, maybe some progress steps will help you as I work through my lonely 10 PM.
It’s poetically 10 PM and yet currently 10:23 PM and my feelings are authentically what I am expressing. My sobriety is won here at 10 PM every night. It is my 24-hour demarcation for new decisions and commitments, promises for sobriety, and goals for the next. I am loneliest then and my regret and sadness feed on their undistracted playground. It is here and palatable in these words and I can smell the smells of the fuel of bad choices and the steal of restrained decisions.
For me healing at this moment is writing you this note. I am writing it because I feel love by giving love. On this night and this moment, I am low and I will be stronger by lifting you up. I am writing to hold out my hand to you and tell you that we will walk through this together. Somewhere under this sky tonight, I am there. I am feeling your feelings and I am praying for our pain our victory and our ability to show others how we grow and someday neutralize 10 PM.
Tonight is lonely. Tomorrow might not be. Either way, we will survive. We will find a way to thrive. It is our mission. It is our creed. We will rise.
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